Today was an unusual day, why was it unusual because a gentleman’s name popped up all over my social media by the name of Alex Skeel. I could not understand what all the fuss was about so I decided to click on the link and I was honestly shocked.
This was a young man who was a victim of domestic violence who went through a horrendous ordeal and was openly discussing it. This was not normal as men very rarely talk no matter openly discuss being a victim of domestic violence.
So, while eating my dinner I decided to put on BBC Iplayer and have a look for myself and my first reaction was is this for real how can another human being do this to someone they supposedly love! As the documentary got deeper and deeper into it I was gobsmacked and shocked which it normally takes quite a lot to shock me.
I was looking at how sweet and innocent his partner looked thinking to myself if she spoke to anyone about it they would never believe him. I know there is not a type of abuser but if I ever had a picture of an abuser in my mind she would be at the bottom of my list.
The part of the documentary that brought a tear to my eyes was when the Police officer went back to the flat to speak to him after another call came through. You could Alex was a mess and clearly, something was not right with him but you could see genuine fear in his eyes. The Police officer was asking him if he was ok and if he needed help and the poor lad continued to say he was fine and that he did it to himself.
It broke my heart seeing another person like that and the pain he must have felt going through all of this. Yes, this does happen to a lot of men who are afraid to come forward but this courageous young man has completely opened my eyes and hopefully the worlds.
I would like to say I commend you for your inner strength and courage for raising the awareness of male DV and how important it is.
When I was young marriage was something you aspired to do with finding someone you can share your life with and grow old with. Over the last decade, it has become a circus for us men, where no matter what we do we will always lose out. The media is constantly printing how much a woman gets from there ex-husbands during a divorce or breakup. This is sending the wrong signals and impressions on marriage.
Men are scared to commit nowadays because if they are successful and get married they can potentially lose it all. This is not the main factor but one of many including they the loss of their children and home in the process. No one goes into marriage thinking about what if we get divorced but men do now as that never used to be the case. Men have become more cautious and demanding that the women they marry sign prenuptial to try to protect themselves. Unfortunately, this can only protect you so far because as soon as you have children that agreement because quite flaky within divorce courts.
I have seen some big high profile divorce court cases recently and these millionaires have lost nearly everything including half of there overall fortune. Baring in mind how long it took them to build it but all it takes is a divorce to wipe half the value of your fortune off you. I have seen that in the UK and not sure what it is like in every other country but I am sure it is similar. When it comes to marriage there are no equal opportunities at all and never will be, unfortunately.
Based on that fact this is why there is a major decline in marriages in the UK and it continues to decline. Did you know in parts of Europe there is a rumour apparently that it is easy to find a rich man in the UK to live off and have kids with! Yep, you heard it right and it’s not only Europe but other parts of the world. This is because allot of the women are pretty but also poor so they need to find a way to not only support themselves but also their families. The UK and US are the prime targets for these women who use online dating as there playground to entice men with money or who will potentially come into money.
I myself have fallen for it and quite a few men I know, there only priority is money and kids as they know that the will be supported by UK law even if they are not from the UK. The sad thing about it is that the UK law supports them and even though us men have lived here all of our lives it means nothing. So, your thinking I am with someone and I really like them should I get married to them. Well, only you can decide that as it is very hard to judge a person’s characteristics nowadays.
All I would say is look for some tell tell signs, do they have a good career? What is there background and family like? What are there friends like? Are they very money orientated? Do they pressure you into having a family shortly of meeting them? Are they secretive about there past? These are just a few examples to think about before you dive into marriage and a family. Just because they are pretty does not mean they are a good person and the same goes for the sex. Don’t get caught up with the physical side of the relationship and base your actions upon that either.
It is very sad as a man we have to be so guarded now about who we meet and what we do with them. If you get caught out like I did it will be life-changing for the wrong reasons, you have been warned. This should also not put you off either as there are some really lovely genuine women out there, unfortunately, they are very hard to find!