Why do less men want to get married?

Why do less men want to get married?

by | 13 03 2018 | Blog, Life Therapist

When I was young marriage was something you aspired to do with finding someone you can share your life with and grow old with. Over the last decade, it has become a circus for us men, where no matter what we do we will always lose out. The media is constantly printing how much a woman gets from there ex-husbands during a divorce or breakup. This is sending the wrong signals and impressions on marriage.

Men are scared to commit nowadays because if they are successful and get married they can potentially lose it all. This is not the main factor but one of many including they the loss of their children and home in the process. No one goes into marriage thinking about what if we get divorced but men do now as that never used to be the case. Men have become more cautious and demanding that the women they marry sign prenuptial to try to protect themselves. Unfortunately, this can only protect you so far because as soon as you have children that agreement because quite flaky within divorce courts.

I have seen some big high profile divorce court cases recently and these millionaires have lost nearly everything including half of there overall fortune. Baring in mind how long it took them to build it but all it takes is a divorce to wipe half the value of your fortune off you. I have seen that in the UK and not sure what it is like in every other country but I am sure it is similar. When it comes to marriage there are no equal opportunities at all and never will be, unfortunately.

Based on that fact this is why there is a major decline in marriages in the UK and it continues to decline. Did you know in parts of Europe there is a rumour apparently that it is easy to find a rich man in the UK to live off and have kids with! Yep, you heard it right and it’s not only Europe but other parts of the world. This is because allot of the women are pretty but also poor so they need to find a way to not only support themselves but also their families. The UK and US are the prime targets for these women who use online dating as there playground to entice men with money or who will potentially come into money.

I myself have fallen for it and quite a few men I know, there only priority is money and kids as they know that the will be supported by UK law even if they are not from the UK. The sad thing about it is that the UK law supports them and even though us men have lived here all of our lives it means nothing. So, your thinking I am with someone and I really like them should I get married to them. Well, only you can decide that as it is very hard to judge a person’s characteristics nowadays.

All I would say is look for some tell tell signs, do they have a good career? What is there background and family like? What are there friends like? Are they very money orientated? Do they pressure you into having a family shortly of meeting them? Are they secretive about there past? These are just a few examples to think about before you dive into marriage and a family. Just because they are pretty does not mean they are a good person and the same goes for the sex. Don’t get caught up with the physical side of the relationship and base your actions upon that either.

It is very sad as a man we have to be so guarded now about who we meet and what we do with them. If you get caught out like I did it will be life-changing for the wrong reasons, you have been warned. This should also not put you off either as there are some really lovely genuine women out there, unfortunately, they are very hard to find!

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When will fathers be allowed to be a father?

When will fathers be allowed to be a father?

by | 12 03 2018 | Blog, Life Therapist

Guys, have you not noticed how much negativity there is being a father? If not then you need to start paying attention just because you feel like you’re in a good relationship now does not necessarily mean it will be forever. Men are really bad at multi-tasking when we have a family that seems to be our only focus to make money and look after it. You would think that should be the only thing we have to think about really when you have your own family. Wrong!

I was speaking to some good female friends who stated that every woman when they get into a relationship has a plan b should all fail. The woman wants to know that the man she is with can look after the family financially. I know right, clearly money and status seem to be more important than a loving relationship. So why do we men continue to fall for this? The main reason is we always think that a certain situation will never happen to us.

When we go to work to look after our families we think that our partner at home is doing the wife thing. We don’t expect due to the long hours we work that they could be looking for someone online to build a connection with due to the lack of attention you can physically provide due to your hours and work. I am not saying that every woman does this but a large portion do and most of there social media accounts will prove this.

The sad thing is we seem to allow these women to do it without challenging their behaviour. Women are all empowered recently to challenge a man’s behaviour, so why are we not challenging there’s? It angers me personally that these good fathers are out there working hard to provide for there families. Yet, their partner spends so much time taking selfies with the baby and posting it online like she is a single mother. You might if your lucky catch the one odd photo of the partner somewhere but not really anything to indicate they are in a relationship or married. Have you as a man ever thought that about your partner? Have you challenged the behaviour or have you put it down too that’s just how she is?

Unfortunately, this is probably part of her plan b, to give that impression should all else fail with you she has been able to market herself as a single mother! Yet, she will moan on social media as to why all these men are contacting knowing she is in a relationship or married! Remember these men on the prowl don’t know these women so they look at there social media to make a judgement if they are single or not etc. So men wake up and start taking charge of your family and situation and because you work hard and think you are in love that everything will always be ok.

The media and social media continue to bash men/dads on a daily basis and never really shows anything positive about us. We are not allowed to share a bed with our kids as we will be branded a paedophile, we can’t show affection to our kids because we will be branded a paedophile. This sickens me to my stomach every time I read an article in the media or social media about a father trying to be a father but being branded a paedophile.

We are creating broken families, where our kids don’t know what love is and how to show affection. Why because we as fathers are not allowed to show it and if we do we are branded a paedophile, so we don’t do it as it makes us uncomfortable. Social media and the media are creating an impossible job for us fathers and we need to voice our concerns instead of just sitting down and taking in all of this negativity!

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