When It came to dating and marriage I used to believe in the old-fashioned term of love. I used to think love was the only thing you needed to have a successful relationship and family. I actually thought the more love you have for someone and your children nothing could possibly go wrong. Then I woke up and realised my old-fashioned thinking was just that old-fashioned and had no place in 2018.
Why it has no place is because the government wants to and does interfere far too much in family life and it is destroying the traditional family values of marriage and lifelong partners. By creating a hostile family environment the government gets to make money off dysfunction and chaos. Budget cuts, benefits cuts and every other cut you can think of which only really effects the working class and not the rich.
This increases friction within the households squeezing money people don’t have increasing debt and pushing people’s family homes into an unhappy environment. This will inevitably end in separation or divorce, which again the government is quite happy with. If the government truly believed in sustainable families and happy homes there would be no need for our Total Reform campaign. Unfortunately, this is not the case and we will continue to campaign for families rights especially when it comes to our children.
So, over the last week or so I have been having some interesting conversations with men and women about relationships and marriage. The women have seen and experienced what their partners have endured with regards to ex-partners and their children. So I asked them what would be the solution for a man before he gets married or has children. They all said ALL MEN no matter what your circumstances are should all get pre-baby contracts and prenups. Some of you who don’t know can have a look at this link for more information about prenups https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement
I thought to myself real love has gone everything has to run like a business now because of the way our laws and government treat and acknowledge families in the UK. Then I thought about my personal situation and I can categorically agree with them. If I even thought for a second that my own government would treat me like garbage when it comes to separation and children I would have got a pre-baby contract and prenup without a shadow of a doubt. So to all the men out there all I can say is learn from other peoples mistakes and don’t follow suit.
There is no such thing as just love when building a family unit you need to be able to protect yourself and your future. If you never separate with your current partner happy days but you at least have the insurance policy there should you need it. We as men should think of prenups like insurance policies and not something sinister as some people make them out to be. With an inherent bias system against men and fathers, you have to have that insurance. Take it from the men and fathers who have suffered through this and take note of it and act upon it.
The moral of the story is any relationship, thought of having children and having the consideration of marriage with your current partner you should pay a visit to a family solicitor beforehand. I am not saying this to scare you I am saying this from the experience of thousands if not millions of men/fathers who have suffered from not having it. Due to the family law system and the way we are seen in society, this is our only option for protection. Do not wait until it happens to you and take out that insurance policy now! Yes, it was also women who told me to do this and that speaks volumes.
Broken Home Syndrome
I was laying in bed thinking about my campaigning and thought to myself, why is the government so unsupportive of equal rights. I am not talking about just fathers but families as well, why are they so opposed it. Then it dawned on me that the broken home market is very profitable for the government and because all the MP’s eat from the same bowl making changes is not an option.
Let’s put this into perspective here, since the conservatives have come into power the homes with low income are being squeezed. This has a knock on effect it will evidently lead to a family breakdown (BHS). Then through the breakdown, they throw in a few government agencies to assist with helping the family to really break down. Cut their benefits to add that bit more pressure, increase taxes and everyday living. Add more pressure to the family slowly but surely someone in that family will crack.
What the government is hoping at this point is for you to start seeking help if you have children and cannot afford to feed them then the government will step in with social services. Once SS is involved the pressure can slowly be applied over a period of time. Then due to the excess pressure, they want you to split up or get a divorce. This will then start the money being pumped into the courts, solicitor firms and government agencies. Then you find you are in a spiralling situation, Child Maintenance Services, CAFCASS and whoever else to get a slice of the pie.
This ultimately ends in broken home syndrome (BHS) whereby they hope once your kids see how is broken home works they will also follow suit. Think about it if the government takes your kids or breaks down family life they are hoping they cycle will continue with your children, so on and so forth. Generations keep the cycle going pumping money into a continuous cycle.
Your thinking well if I have no money how will they make money of me. Easy it is called debt, if you scare or bully someone enough they will find means of paying for things. Court or CMS will be the main bully tactics which people get scared and take out loans to pay for it. It is a vicious cycle they want you to be part of, your sitting there thinking how did I come to this conclusion.
Easy, write to your local MP about equal rights for your family and see if, one they reply or two ignore your letter. If they do reply, see if anything in that letter indicates actually helping you themselves or if you receive a standard robot type reply. I will guarantee that 90% of the MP’s will ignore you and if you are persistent with your letters even block you.
How often do you see in the house of commons anything about fathers rights or family rights? Me personally I have never seen anything or even any press or media coverage of the issue. Our government has no interest in promoting fathers or family rights as it would take out a large chunk or cash cow money from them.
How can you change this? Easy through voting and campaigning, if you want change then you must ask for it. When it is time for local and national elections this is the time to have a voice and demand the change we all deserve!
When you were first born, I was so excited
To see your little face I was so delighted,
I held you in my arms and promised to keep you safe,
I knew in my world I would make you first place
When I first picked you up it brought a tear to my eye,
Deep inside I cried and cried
The joy I had bringing you into this world
I have never felt so proud and some much reward
I watched you grow day by day
When you said you first dada
I just melted I can honestly say
I knew the love I had would never fade away
I went to work and could not wait to get home
To hear the pitta patta of your tiny feet shouting daddy at the door
No matter what day I had I know I loved you more
You brought a smile to my face to which I could not ignore
I knew then what it meant to be a parent
That feeling of love and overwhelment
I have never loved anyone or anything like I have loved you
So this is my poem to let you know, I will never forget you
You might not be here with me now
But you will always be in my heart and memories
One day I hope I can just be a father without the fight
I love you, my babies, as I say goodnight
A part-time father is what we will only ever be
They took away my ideal of being a family can’t you see
The stress and emptiness is a daily occurrence
But they don’t care as long as there is no interference
I will never stop loving you and just wanted you to know
Sometimes it’s just easier in a poem I hope to show
You are and will always be part of me
As when we are together you bring out the best of me
Written by Mark Sheppard (in loving memory of his beautiful babies)
So, the questions fathers get asked allot is why do we spend so much time in court? Unfortunately, if you have had a divorce or a breakup even though as a father we have equal parental rights. The courts and the system do not agree with it and the only way a father can seem to see his kids is if he takes his ex-partner to court. We have to pay all the fees, including the maintenance for our children even when they are deliberately being withheld from the father.
As a father being there for your child, being on the birth certificate and everything else we do for our children means nothing in the eyes of the law. Women to this day are still allowed to disappear with your child and use your child as a weapon with no consequences for there actions. Is this fair, of course, it is not but until the law sees this and fathers start fighting back nothing will ever change.
Women are breaking human rights laws by doing this but as no one has challenged it in court nothing has even been done about it. There is a piece of legislation that every human being is protected by in the UK, I would like to say worldwide but it would probably be a lie. It is Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998. Under Article 8 protects your right to respect for private and family life, your home and correspondence.
Based on the Article 8, why are so many women breaching this daily and hiding behind government agencies who are assisting in these breaches? It’s because no one has challenged it, most fathers are so tired and stressed they don’t have the fight in them to fight in court. Maybe other man just settle for the fact they will never see their children again and just walk away.
I will never walk away from my children and I don’t think you should either, united we are a lot stronger and divided we will fall. So, don’t settle for anything less than your child and you being in their lives no one can or should take away that basic human right of yours.
Fathers should be allowed to enjoy their kids like the mothers do and not spend his life in court fighting for his basic rights.