As a father when you visit a solicitor or family court, do you feel like you’re speaking to robots or get scripted answers? I do, I visited a solicitor today and as soon as you sit down you’re already being prejudged. They ask you, so what’s happened then? As soon as you tell them you can see their faces drop and eyes start rolling. Not another father complaining about not seeing his children boring, let me get the scripted answers out now and send him on his way!
The thing that infuriates me is if they know this is a problem why are they not doing anything about it? Oh sorry, it’s a big money spinner that is why and the fathers pay the bill for legal support so why would we want to stop that! When need mothers to disappear with their kids to prop up the family court system, if they didn’t the family court would crumble due to no money or funding.
It’s bizarre that fathers don’t see this, I went through the motions today like I always do. As I know what they will say, So Mr Sheppard “if you want to see your kids you will have to go to court”, I replied, “as the biological father why should I have to go to court every time I want to see my child?”. The solicitor’s reply was “unfortunately that is the way it is” I said not it isn’t and that is not how it should be and this is why I campaign for change.
Fathers/Dads you really need to wake up and smell the latte, we are being forced into a financial/court trap that the only person that wins is the Family Court system. I cannot believe in 2018 fathers are still facing the same issue as me when I started my court battles 10 years ago! Absolutely nothing has changed and this is why our children are a mess, being forced into the court system because fathers have no choice!
We don’t have an issue with the courts bringing up our kids but yet we are crying out for fathers to take more responsibility. When the judge makes his assessment of the court case “it will be made in the best interest of the child” well the best interest of the child would be not having to end up in court in the first place, no?
Sometimes I wonder how do you fix such a broken system that forces fathers to be part of such a corrupt broken system that penalises you for loving your children.
The fight continues!
As you are all aware that my petition/campaign will be starting shortly. One thing I have always wanted to know is, why is talking and raising awareness about divorce and breakups such a taboo subject? No one seems to want to discuss or campaign for change but yet they are all happy to moan about it to friends and family! The main reason why it needs to be talked about and changed is the effect it has on children involved and mental health.
I am sick and tired of hearing the same old stories with no real change in the legal system and child maintenance services. We need fundamental changes to benefit everyone and remove the stigma attached to divorce and brake-ups. So, let’s start talking about and make some real changes that benefit everyone and not just one parent. Children seem to always be forgotten during breakups and 80% of the time the father with experience parental alienation during divorce/breakup.
This can have and has had serious mental health effects on the father long term and can lead to deep depression and even suicide in some cases. I want this to stop, no one has the right to stop a father from seeing his child(ren) unless he is deemed a risk which will have the appropriate legal paperwork to support it. Otherwise, all fathers should have and always have access to his children without the mind games and children being used as weapons.
Please support my campaign for real change not assumed father rights just because he is on the birth certificate.
Did you know fathers would be happier to pay child support if they actually had access to there child(ren)? Due to parental alienation and fathers deliberately being stopped from seeing their child(ren) they are more reluctant to pay anything towards that child! Let’s change this mindset and make real changes to family law, child maintenance and peoples general perception of fathers.
Even if you don’t fully support what I am doing I want you to at least understand my message!
Lets stop this!
Lets stop this as well!
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When you were first born, I was so excited
To see your little face I was so delighted,
I held you in my arms and promised to keep you safe,
I knew in my world I would make you first place
When I first picked you up it brought a tear to my eye,
Deep inside I cried and cried
The joy I had bringing you into this world
I have never felt so proud and some much reward
I watched you grow day by day
When you said you first dada
I just melted I can honestly say
I knew the love I had would never fade away
I went to work and could not wait to get home
To hear the pitta patta of your tiny feet shouting daddy at the door
No matter what day I had I know I loved you more
You brought a smile to my face to which I could not ignore
I knew then what it meant to be a parent
That feeling of love and overwhelment
I have never loved anyone or anything like I have loved you
So this is my poem to let you know, I will never forget you
You might not be here with me now
But you will always be in my heart and memories
One day I hope I can just be a father without the fight
I love you, my babies, as I say goodnight
A part-time father is what we will only ever be
They took away my ideal of being a family can’t you see
The stress and emptiness is a daily occurrence
But they don’t care as long as there is no interference
I will never stop loving you and just wanted you to know
Sometimes it’s just easier in a poem I hope to show
You are and will always be part of me
As when we are together you bring out the best of me
Written by Mark Sheppard (in loving memory of his beautiful babies)
So, the questions fathers get asked allot is why do we spend so much time in court? Unfortunately, if you have had a divorce or a breakup even though as a father we have equal parental rights. The courts and the system do not agree with it and the only way a father can seem to see his kids is if he takes his ex-partner to court. We have to pay all the fees, including the maintenance for our children even when they are deliberately being withheld from the father.
As a father being there for your child, being on the birth certificate and everything else we do for our children means nothing in the eyes of the law. Women to this day are still allowed to disappear with your child and use your child as a weapon with no consequences for there actions. Is this fair, of course, it is not but until the law sees this and fathers start fighting back nothing will ever change.
Women are breaking human rights laws by doing this but as no one has challenged it in court nothing has even been done about it. There is a piece of legislation that every human being is protected by in the UK, I would like to say worldwide but it would probably be a lie. It is Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998. Under Article 8 protects your right to respect for private and family life, your home and correspondence.
Based on the Article 8, why are so many women breaching this daily and hiding behind government agencies who are assisting in these breaches? It’s because no one has challenged it, most fathers are so tired and stressed they don’t have the fight in them to fight in court. Maybe other man just settle for the fact they will never see their children again and just walk away.
I will never walk away from my children and I don’t think you should either, united we are a lot stronger and divided we will fall. So, don’t settle for anything less than your child and you being in their lives no one can or should take away that basic human right of yours.
Fathers should be allowed to enjoy their kids like the mothers do and not spend his life in court fighting for his basic rights.
Dear Amelia, this was written for all the mums and dads out there who have that unconditional love for their children.
If you have ever lost a child or had one taken away from you due to a spiteful ex partner I feel your pain. I have two beautiful daughters, one named Isis and another named Amelia. These kids are my life, everything I do is for them and always will be. Unfortunately, when a relationship breaks down one or both parties can be left with a bitter taste.
I was the one left with an extremely bitter taste mainly because my ex partner took my daughter away from me and disappeared. To put it into context, I spent nearly two years of my daughter’s life (Amelia) doing everything I could for her. We had an extremely close father and daughter bond like no other. Everyday I woke up I thought to myself, I have the best kids in the world! I know every parent says this, but I genuinely believed that I did.
Each day to hear Amelia shout daddy, daddy, daddy and run up to me for a kiss and a cuddle would melt my heart. Whenever I would watch Arsenal play football she would run over to me and sit next to me and watch it. As soon as Arsenal scored I would jump up and scream with excitement and she would do the same (so funny to watch). You see she loved me and I hope she still does. I also hope she has not forgotten me either but deep down I know she probably has. This not by being her fault but due to the circumstances.
Seeing how excited she got to see me when I got home from work. To see her little face smile when I had a hard day at work gave me strength I never knew I had. I can’t explain how one little persons smile could make my day complete. Having that suddenly taken away from me is like having a piece of your heart ripped from my chest and flushed down the toilet. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy the constant feeling of loss.
I know I am not the first father or the last father to experience this sort of thing. I would like to plead to all women out there for a couple of things. Please do not use your child as a weapon in a breakup. I understand you might get angry and want to get back at an ex but please do not use the children to do it!
We live in a society full of broken homes and children where this could be avoided. I have seen how situations like this have caused dad’s to break down with mental health issues, suicide, depression and generally broken. Not all men are the same and not all men can handle the loss of a child. Regardless of your personal issues with each other the child/children deserve to see both parents full stop. Unless there is a risk to the child and it’s deemed not safe.
Dear Ameila my beautiful smiley daughter, I will never forget you or stop loving you. Just because I have to do the out of sight, out of mind scenario does not mean I have forgotten you. To ease the daily heartache and pain is why I have to do it. You are part of me and the love I have for you has no boundaries. I am sorry for the way you were taken away from me and one day we will be reunited. I love you with all my heart, my beautiful daughter.
Love from your doting father.