This is not a sob story or for attention, this is my reality and is the reality of many parents who are alienated or part-time. I use the term part-time because we live in a system/society that supports it and even encourages it. I can’t remember a time I was ever offered to have my child on Christmas Day, why because it’s not in the best interest of the other parent!
As long as I pay child support, pay for birthdays and Christmas its win-win for the other parent. I don’t need to be a real part of my child’s life as long as I keep the money rolling in and presents brought that is my sole purpose. Would the other parent think about my being alone at Xmas, hell no as long as they are not alone that is all that matters!
To be honest I have desensitised myself when it comes to Xmas as it is less painful and stressful. It is easier to pretend it is not happening and to rush through it to be over than to get caught up in it. Friends and family know how difficult this time of year is for me but they just don’t get it they just get upset with you because you are not as reliable or as sociable as you used to be.
When your child refers to you as him or he and not dad or daddy it is hard to hear. Then you get photos and videos of what the other parent is doing with your child and you can only sit by on the sideline and watch. It’s hard and very painful to experience and I hope and pray this never happens to you as it really does change you as a person.
I have never ever the night before Xmas prepared milk, cookies/mince pie and a carrot for Santa! I know it sounds very small but to a parent, it’s those small things that really matter. I don’t get to sit and watch Xmas movies and play games with my children. I don’t get to watch panto’s or nativity play’s of my children nor do I get invited too.
What I do look forward to is a cold empty house with no decorations, no children and watching everyone on social media and TV enjoying or pretending to enjoy Xmas. This is my reality every single year and to be honest it probably won’t change. So, excuse me if I don’t feel sociable or
The Total Reform campaign was started by the Cornerstone Community Alliance to not only bring awareness but also campaign for real law changes. In 2018 we are still suffering from the same injustices we did two to three decades ago and nothing has changed with regards to balancing the system including meaningful law changes. They talk about equality but do not make the necessary changes to make things equal as having an imbalance within society creates a monetary industry. There are ways to make money as a business yes but not on the misery and pain of others who just want to live normal lives and have the people they care about in there lives.
Cornerstone Community Alliance, CCA, was formed by us, a group of parents, grandparents and organisations of family rights. Together, we campaign for the “best outcomes for our own children, your children and grandchildren”.
This is our campaign
We have partnered with some great campaigners and support groups most recently the Peace Not Pas team. They have an incredible network of support for people experiencing Parental Alienation and the mental health issues that some people experience from it. You can read more here click here
We would really appreciate your support by changing your social media profile pictures to show your support for Total Reform. Remember without your continued support we would not have made it this far and we thank you all for that, we really appreciate it.
We still have a long way to go and we are reaching the right people but now we need to show them we mean business.
Please download one of the two images below to show your support for our campaign and whenever you post on social media with regards to our campaign please use the hashtag #TotalReform
A lot of you know I have been campaigning for a while for fathers & families rights. I have been waiting for a while for a reply to my last letter I sent to Robert Watling. Today I nearly fell of my chair when I received a FOI request through to my email. The letter is self-explanatory with regards to what I was trying to achieve from my questions. I myself have faced some serious issues with Parental Alienation and Child Maintenance being paid to my alienated child whom I don’t have access to not out of choice.
So please read the reply and you will be able to come to your own conclusions as to what is really happening within the Child Maintenance Services and what needs to be done to reform it. I have always believed in a fair system for all, unfortunately from what I have seen in these statistics it is far from fair!
The reason why no celebrity or government official on our father’s rights / equal rights movement is because it is not in their interest. Why do you ask? Due to the amount of money that is made from it and how many celebs and government officials have jumped on women’s rights movements they ignore the facts about men. I do believe some of them actually think we are doing this just to distract them from the women’s rights movements.
Let’s make this clear women’s rights are just as important as men’s and I believe everyone should be living an equal life. There should be no gender bias anywhere but that is just my own personal opinion unfortunately that does not make financial sense in the eyes of the government and law.
So, let’s look at some statistics and this is for the year of 2016 England & Wales by the office of national statistics –
• There were 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples in 2016, an increase of 5.8% compared with 2015.
• The divorce rate for opposite-sex couples was highest among men aged 45 to 49 and women in their thirties (ages 30 to 39).
Now some of you may be thinking that this is not allot in comparison to our population, just remember this is only what is officially gone through the courts. It does not account for people that are married but just separated and normal breakups are not accounted for. For me, that figure is too high and I am sure it will get higher over years to come. Why do I think it will increase, we don’t promote positive relationships and marriages. If you look at the media it’s always showing some celeb getting divorced or having a breakup with large amounts of financial settlements being discussed.
Your thinking what is this actually promoting? It is saying if you choose your man wisely it could be very profitable for you and everyone concerned, solicitors, barristers, family court, child maintenance services and every estate agents get a piece. The other key thing it promotes is parental alienation, if you as the women alienate the father you will receive more money. Do you remember the days when people used to say the more babies you have the more money you get in benefits? The same principle applies to parental alienation the law supports you alienating the father from their children which in turn allows you to claim more money!
If you did 50/50 co-parenting you would get little or nothing as a mother in terms of financial support so it would not be in the mother’s interest to do that. Yes, it is about money for a lot of women, not all but allot so that is why you will see a rise in CMS claims against fathers. It is being used as a weapon and has been for decades but CMS know if they make a fair system for all it probably will not have a business as it business model is built on fathers not having access! That is why they will always state it’s a separate issue and say if you want to see your kids you have to go to COURT! How about before you as the CMS actually contact the fathers and speak to them with respect and ask them for their side, if they do not have access to their child due to parental alienation, application denied! How about that? No, because it is not how their business model works and it would not be able to sustain itself as a business if that happened.
What about the women that serial marry rich men and divorce them for money? Nothing, technically this would be fraud but it would be difficult to prove and most men don’t even think about it. They are far too distracted with the divorce/breakup and whether or not they will ever see their kids again.
We need to change the laws and the perception of marriage/relationships for anything to really improve. Until then it will always be a money-making industry which seems to only affect the men mainly with our gender bias family court system. We ourselves as businesses need to start abiding by our own Human Rights and Equality Act laws and stop abusing and manipulating the system.
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