The reason why no celebrity or government official on our father’s rights / equal rights movement is because it is not in their interest. Why do you ask? Due to the amount of money that is made from it and how many celebs and government officials have jumped on women’s rights movements they ignore the facts about men. I do believe some of them actually think we are doing this just to distract them from the women’s rights movements.
Let’s make this clear women’s rights are just as important as men’s and I believe everyone should be living an equal life. There should be no gender bias anywhere but that is just my own personal opinion unfortunately that does not make financial sense in the eyes of the government and law.
So, let’s look at some statistics and this is for the year of 2016 England & Wales by the office of national statistics –
• There were 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples in 2016, an increase of 5.8% compared with 2015.
• The divorce rate for opposite-sex couples was highest among men aged 45 to 49 and women in their thirties (ages 30 to 39).
Now some of you may be thinking that this is not allot in comparison to our population, just remember this is only what is officially gone through the courts. It does not account for people that are married but just separated and normal breakups are not accounted for. For me, that figure is too high and I am sure it will get higher over years to come. Why do I think it will increase, we don’t promote positive relationships and marriages. If you look at the media it’s always showing some celeb getting divorced or having a breakup with large amounts of financial settlements being discussed.
Your thinking what is this actually promoting? It is saying if you choose your man wisely it could be very profitable for you and everyone concerned, solicitors, barristers, family court, child maintenance services and every estate agents get a piece. The other key thing it promotes is parental alienation, if you as the women alienate the father you will receive more money. Do you remember the days when people used to say the more babies you have the more money you get in benefits? The same principle applies to parental alienation the law supports you alienating the father from their children which in turn allows you to claim more money!
If you did 50/50 co-parenting you would get little or nothing as a mother in terms of financial support so it would not be in the mother’s interest to do that. Yes, it is about money for a lot of women, not all but allot so that is why you will see a rise in CMS claims against fathers. It is being used as a weapon and has been for decades but CMS know if they make a fair system for all it probably will not have a business as it business model is built on fathers not having access! That is why they will always state it’s a separate issue and say if you want to see your kids you have to go to COURT! How about before you as the CMS actually contact the fathers and speak to them with respect and ask them for their side, if they do not have access to their child due to parental alienation, application denied! How about that? No, because it is not how their business model works and it would not be able to sustain itself as a business if that happened.
What about the women that serial marry rich men and divorce them for money? Nothing, technically this would be fraud but it would be difficult to prove and most men don’t even think about it. They are far too distracted with the divorce/breakup and whether or not they will ever see their kids again.
We need to change the laws and the perception of marriage/relationships for anything to really improve. Until then it will always be a money-making industry which seems to only affect the men mainly with our gender bias family court system. We ourselves as businesses need to start abiding by our own Human Rights and Equality Act laws and stop abusing and manipulating the system.
Dads let’s face it we are battling a corrupt system hell-bent on crippling us mentally and financially. So, why do we keep playing the game? The reason why is because we love our children and will do anything for them, which in turn makes us spend spend spend. What if we stopped doing that and used our energy with the laws we already have and campaign for an official Parental Alienation law!
These government organisations have been cashing in on divorce and breakups for decades and the brunt of it comes from men. We have a gender bias problem and it needs to be fixed even if it means short time sacrifices. Under the Article 8 Human Rights Act 1998we and anyone else with children are covered. The right to family life is and always will be a fundamental human right for all. So, when you get a Parental Alienator they are in clear breach straight away and anyone that facilitates it. During a breakup, if your ex-partner disappears with your child and not providing you with a forwarding address or even contact with your child/ren they are in breach.
The only time they can effectively breach that human right is if they have a court order/injunction to say you must stay away because you are a risk to them or the children! I can remember when my ex-partner took my daughter I was devastated and panicked. I called the police and social services for help, I will never forget those phone calls. I was met with hostility from both sides saying to me there is nothing they can do, you must get a solicitor and go to court (they want us to play the game) and they ended with they don’t have to give you a forwarding address. Ahhhhh, that is technically wrong if you don’t have a court order issued against you. UnderArticle 8 Human Rights Act 1998YES THEY DO have to provide you with a forwarding address and contact with your children.
If you read Article 8 the right to family life it is all there in black and white, so why do people continue to breach it? Probably because no one is really pushing to enforce it because it will open a can of worms for government organisations that facilitate the breaches. It is easier to ignore it or true to confuse the person/s into thinking it is not a breach and what they are doing is legal. You’re probably thinking so how to a lodge a complaint then on a human rights breach. Please read this article on taking action about human rights
If we don’t stop propping up these organisations financially things will never change, we have rights and we must start exercising them. Also, seeing the whole fiasco with Brexit we may also have a chance of raising our concerns to https://www.echr.coe.inthow the court’s works
Due to the devastating effects of breakups and divorces have on fathers we must compose ourselves with an action plan that works. Make your formal complaints where necessary but you also need to think of a long-term solution as most we get offered are short-term and cost us a lot of money.
As you are all aware that my petition/campaign will be starting shortly. One thing I have always wanted to know is, why is talking and raising awareness about divorce and breakups such a taboo subject? No one seems to want to discuss or campaign for change but yet they are all happy to moan about it to friends and family! The main reason why it needs to be talked about and changed is the effect it has on children involved and mental health.
I am sick and tired of hearing the same old stories with no real change in the legal system and child maintenance services. We need fundamental changes to benefit everyone and remove the stigma attached to divorce and brake-ups. So, let’s start talking about and make some real changes that benefit everyone and not just one parent. Children seem to always be forgotten during breakups and 80% of the time the father with experience parental alienation during divorce/breakup.
This can have and has had serious mental health effects on the father long term and can lead to deep depression and even suicide in some cases. I want this to stop, no one has the right to stop a father from seeing his child(ren) unless he is deemed a risk which will have the appropriate legal paperwork to support it. Otherwise, all fathers should have and always have access to his children without the mind games and children being used as weapons.
Please support my campaign for real change not assumed father rights just because he is on the birth certificate.
Did you know fathers would be happier to pay child support if they actually had access to there child(ren)? Due to parental alienation and fathers deliberately being stopped from seeing their child(ren) they are more reluctant to pay anything towards that child! Let’s change this mindset and make real changes to family law, child maintenance and peoples general perception of fathers.
Even if you don’t fully support what I am doing I want you to at least understand my message!
Dear Amelia, this was written for all the mums and dads out there who have that unconditional love for their children.
If you have ever lost a child or had one taken away from you due to a spiteful ex partner I feel your pain. I have two beautiful daughters, one named Isis and another named Amelia. These kids are my life, everything I do is for them and always will be. Unfortunately, when a relationship breaks down one or both parties can be left with a bitter taste.
I was the one left with an extremely bitter taste mainly because my ex partner took my daughter away from me and disappeared. To put it into context, I spent nearly two years of my daughter’s life (Amelia) doing everything I could for her. We had an extremely close father and daughter bond like no other. Everyday I woke up I thought to myself, I have the best kids in the world! I know every parent says this, but I genuinely believed that I did.
Each day to hear Amelia shout daddy, daddy, daddy and run up to me for a kiss and a cuddle would melt my heart. Whenever I would watch Arsenal play football she would run over to me and sit next to me and watch it. As soon as Arsenal scored I would jump up and scream with excitement and she would do the same (so funny to watch). You see she loved me and I hope she still does. I also hope she has not forgotten me either but deep down I know she probably has. This not by being her fault but due to the circumstances.
Seeing how excited she got to see me when I got home from work. To see her little face smile when I had a hard day at work gave me strength I never knew I had. I can’t explain how one little persons smile could make my day complete. Having that suddenly taken away from me is like having a piece of your heart ripped from my chest and flushed down the toilet. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy the constant feeling of loss.
I know I am not the first father or the last father to experience this sort of thing. I would like to plead to all women out there for a couple of things. Please do not use your child as a weapon in a breakup. I understand you might get angry and want to get back at an ex but please do not use the children to do it!
We live in a society full of broken homes and children where this could be avoided. I have seen how situations like this have caused dad’s to break down with mental health issues, suicide, depression and generally broken. Not all men are the same and not all men can handle the loss of a child. Regardless of your personal issues with each other the child/children deserve to see both parents full stop. Unless there is a risk to the child and it’s deemed not safe.
Dear Ameila my beautiful smiley daughter, I will never forget you or stop loving you. Just because I have to do the out of sight, out of mind scenario does not mean I have forgotten you. To ease the daily heartache and pain is why I have to do it. You are part of me and the love I have for you has no boundaries. I am sorry for the way you were taken away from me and one day we will be reunited. I love you with all my heart, my beautiful daughter.
I can honestly say as a single father myself we never give ourselves enough credit. We work extremely hard to make a better life for our kids but never really get any thanks for it. When was the last time someone brought you flowers, chocolates, aftershave or booked you a spa retreat? Why can men not receive these things because it’s not the norm? It is assumed that as a man we have to do these things for the woman which I am sure most men have done when in relationships.
So who praises you when your a single father? Probably no one, after a break up whether its a divorce or relationship split who is better off?
Unfortunately, the woman wins every time, you will lose your child, money, dignity and more than likely your possessions. By me writing this it’s not to be negative about the situation as every situation is different and may warrant a different approach. The moment either one of you decides to split and especially if one of the persons were cheating or planning to cheat. I can guarantee the situation will become hostile. Even if the man is the innocent party you will still lose out.
A woman will never understand the feeling of having your child taken away from you out of spitefulness and selfishness. Due to the courts in the UK favouring women did you know you ex-partner is allowed by law to disappear with your child and she does not have to provide you with an address as to where they are!
If you as a father want to see your child ultimately you will have to either go to court and hire a very expensive solicitor to track down your ex-partner and child. Yes, you heard me correctly you lose again and will have to pay even more money to be a father to your child. You can not get the authorities involved as it is not classified a kidnapping as the whole situation happened after a split and will be classified as a domestic incident. You as the father will be advised to seek legal advice and go to court.
Now, switch the scenario around if you as the father decided you want to look after the child and you did what your ex-partner did and disappeared with the child. Yes, you’re right you as the father of the child would be hunted down by the authorities like a fugitive from the law automatically favours the woman. You will more than likely get arrested and would be very lucky to not get charged with the kidnapping of your own child.
So the stress of being a single father will continue probably for the rest of your life due to the obvious imbalance of the legal system. Even if you meet another partner your ex will always pursue the imbalance of the legal system and play you like a fiddle. You will at some point in your life get referred to by your ex to the child maintenance service (debt collectors). Why do I call them debt collectors, unfortunately, that is what they are.
They are rude, condescending and unhelpful as they automatically favour the person submitting the claim and are not interested in anything you have to say. So be prepared for a long drawn-out battle and added stress when they get involved, remember they don’t care if you have access to your child or not. They are only interested in collecting money and in my eyes essentially glorified debt collectors.
So, let’s talk about solutions and not problems anymore as I think you catch my drift about what happens when you become a single father. Firstly, losing your kids and going through a breakup can become very lonely and distressing. I can make you anti-women and like you are in a dark place you can not get out of. If you feel like this please please please ask for help. Speak to your GP and see if they can refer you to a counsellor, so you can talk through how you feel and try to resolve the issues.
There are charities out there that can also support and guide you when dealing with breakups and losing your children. Do a comprehensive Google or Bing search to locate these charities. Once your head is in the right place its time to rebuild and re-invent yourself. Take time out work out your finances and how you will progress things, so a short holiday or visiting family abroad or something may help.
I cannot stress enough GET legal advice as this will be the only option for you as anything else will more than likely be seen as a criminal act in the eyes of the law. Breakups and losing access to your children can bring on depression and other mental health problems within men. So always speak to someone whether it be a family member, friend or a professional.
My last bit of advice do not rush into another relationship until you have fully resolved your last as it could make you worse. Take time out to reinvent yourself, go travelling or find some new hobbies to distract you. Once you have reached a certain level within yourself then you can explore dating again, remember there is no rush and in order to make someone happy you must make yourself happy first.
I could literally talk about this forever so if you want to have a chat with me feel free to comment on the post or send me an email.
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