Would you like to share your experiences? I have decided to open up my blog…
Parental Alienation, Social Services, CAFCASS and Family Court
So, before I get into my case about my beautiful daughter Amelia and Essex County Council Social Services, I just want to say something. I as the father of my child or children SHOULD NOT have to prove to ANYONE why I want to be a father or want to be in my child’s life. It makes me physically sick to think I have spent the best of 11 years fighting a system at every turn which is telling me you are not allowed to be a father to your own children?????
The fact that I am going to the lengths that I am to be in my children’s lives means nothing to the same people that are working with families and SUPPOSED to working in the best interest of my children! We have an inherent problem within law and society that genuinely thinks men are second class and disposable. How on earth did we reach this point? Why in 2020 are fathers still fighting to be in their children’s lives, why are we not promoting positive parenting and relationships? It does feel like we as men are doomed to fail when It comes to parenting and families.
We are losing fathers daily to suicide but no one bats an eyelid to the fact that this is happening and continuing to happen. I have been thrown into a situation I would rather not be in or have to be in all I want is to be a father to my children. So, why the hell is it so difficult for me to do so? I do believe men are changing now and I will explain what I mean.
If you look at history men have always been told when you find the right women you need to make an honest woman of her. What we were not told about is the pitfalls that come with marriage and having children should anything go wrong. When you meet the right person, you should never have to think about what if it goes wrong as it feels like you are setting yourself up to fail at something which is supposed to make you happy. The truth is you do, you as a man have to think very very hard about what if and put provisions in place to protect you, your finances, your children, your home and anything else that means anything to you.
The other alternative is to never get married or live with a partner, you will then be looked at by your partner’s friends as a non-committed partner and it will probably never last. Your partner will be pressured by friends/family who will state, he doesn’t love you because he will not commit to you or have children etc. Which is untrue but you as a man will probably never get a chance to explain your side of the story as she would have already made her mind up. This is the sad reality of 2020, we are encouraging broken relationships, families and connections with people. This is fuelling a single man/woman society that is pushing people’s mental health to its brink of destruction.
We need organisations who are accountable and fully transparent with its clients otherwise nothing will ever improve or change. We know already that 90% of the services like Social Services and CAFCASS are so biased against fathers it is virtually impossible to have a relationship with your child/ren if they should ever get involved. They close ranks when a complaint gets filed and reply with generic responses to state that cannot find any wrongdoing with the FCA’s, staff and senior staff etc.
Did you know that approximately 90% of fathers that get referred to CAFCASS for child arrangement orders will always be given one of three things? First will be either non-molestation order, indirect access or supervised contact via a contact centre! Yep, your ex-partner is fully allowed by LAW to lie to the court, social services and CAFCASS without ANY repercussions for their actions. This is not my opinion its fact and fully backed by evidence of father’s sec 7 reports which I dip sampled.
Think about it none of these fathers have ever been in trouble with the police previously, no convictions or cautions with regards to DV or DA. Yet, an ex-partner can tell Family Court that they did with no evidence, no arrests, no history and no investigation into the claims to see if they are true or not. You are automatically found guilty by CAFCASS and Social Services and the court. Then I would estimate 70-80% of the time you will be very lucky to see your children again after that.
This is not a mum vs dad issue this is a broken system issue; everyone wants to hide and ignore the mental health problems of our children and the suicide rates of fathers increasing. This has now become a child protection and mental health issue whereby things need to change very quickly. As if it does not if you think we are in a crisis now, just wait as we are sitting on a time bomb waiting to go off.
I myself have escalated my case in every way possible and below is the typical generic letter we fathers receive when they close rank! (This has taken nearly a year and a half to investigate)