Dear Amelia, this was written for all the mums and dads out there who have that unconditional love for their children.
If you have ever lost a child or had one taken away from you due to a spiteful ex partner I feel your pain. I have two beautiful daughters, one named Isis and another named Amelia. These kids are my life, everything I do is for them and always will be. Unfortunately, when a relationship breaks down one or both parties can be left with a bitter taste.
I was the one left with an extremely bitter taste mainly because my ex partner took my daughter away from me and disappeared. To put it into context, I spent nearly two years of my daughter’s life (Amelia) doing everything I could for her. We had an extremely close father and daughter bond like no other. Everyday I woke up I thought to myself, I have the best kids in the world! I know every parent says this, but I genuinely believed that I did.
Each day to hear Amelia shout daddy, daddy, daddy and run up to me for a kiss and a cuddle would melt my heart. Whenever I would watch Arsenal play football she would run over to me and sit next to me and watch it. As soon as Arsenal scored I would jump up and scream with excitement and she would do the same (so funny to watch). You see she loved me and I hope she still does. I also hope she has not forgotten me either but deep down I know she probably has. This not by being her fault but due to the circumstances.
Seeing how excited she got to see me when I got home from work. To see her little face smile when I had a hard day at work gave me strength I never knew I had. I can’t explain how one little persons smile could make my day complete. Having that suddenly taken away from me is like having a piece of your heart ripped from my chest and flushed down the toilet. I would never wish this upon my worst enemy the constant feeling of loss.
I know I am not the first father or the last father to experience this sort of thing. I would like to plead to all women out there for a couple of things. Please do not use your child as a weapon in a breakup. I understand you might get angry and want to get back at an ex but please do not use the children to do it!
We live in a society full of broken homes and children where this could be avoided. I have seen how situations like this have caused dad’s to break down with mental health issues, suicide, depression and generally broken. Not all men are the same and not all men can handle the loss of a child. Regardless of your personal issues with each other the child/children deserve to see both parents full stop. Unless there is a risk to the child and it’s deemed not safe.
Dear Ameila my beautiful smiley daughter, I will never forget you or stop loving you. Just because I have to do the out of sight, out of mind scenario does not mean I have forgotten you. To ease the daily heartache and pain is why I have to do it. You are part of me and the love I have for you has no boundaries. I am sorry for the way you were taken away from me and one day we will be reunited. I love you with all my heart, my beautiful daughter.
Love from your doting father.