Parental Alienation Psychological Impact on Children
When we think of Parental Alienation we immediately think of the immediate parents and not the children or siblings to the alienation. As parents, all we try to do is protect the siblings with excuses after excuses as we try to protect them from the psychological effects of losing their sibling.
Sometimes we underestimate the extent of damage cause suddenly when a child is separated from a parent or sibling. While surfing online I found a video I wanted you to see from some researches in the US on the effects of a child being separated from a parent.
Inside the Brains of Children Separated from Parents
From the above video, you can see the effects of a child being separated from a parent has on them. Every day a child is separated from a parent for one reason or another but is it a justified reason or is it orchestrated by a spiteful bitter person. A person who cannot see past their own anger then rather see their child happy with both parents in their lives. Can someone’s anger be so much more important than your child’s mental health and well-being?
A child does not ask to be brought into the world that decision is made by two loving parents at the time and regardless of their personal situation that love should always remain with the child and child’s best interest. Then the poor child is dragged through a system of courts and government agencies that cause more stress and strain by the parents, which in some cases do not have a choice.
If one of the parents decides to move away or disappear with the child to spite the other person, why are they not pursued by the government agencies whereby enforcing contact with the bitter spiteful alienator. Why is it so easy to rip a child from a loving home with siblings and grandparents because one side of the family is upset with the other. The law should be onside of the child and the alienated parent to make sure the long-term effects of another person’s actions do not psychologically damage the child and alienated parent.
To sum up what it feels like as an alienated parent who loses a child that is alive is a constant sense of grief! You grieve every day, you feel hollow and that you are just a shell of a person that is waiting to feel complete. Sleepless nights and stress that feels like your head is going to explode with no escape.
Summed up nicely in this quote
“I’d thought those memories would be the ones I always cherished, but as the days and years passed by, those beautiful memories became my pain.”
I just wanted to end this post with a video of how children feel when they are alienated from a parent.
On Tuesday 11th September 2018 the BBC ran a short segment on CAFCASS & Parental Alienation. Although I welcome the airtime highlighting something that fathers have been campaigning for decades on. The BBC did not interview or even feature a father that had suffered or is still suffering Parental Alienation! This is very disappointing and clearly again shows the media bias towards fathers.
Looking at the freedom of information request I have received back from the Child Maintenance Services clearly show the overwhelming statistic that men are categorically the main no resident parent. So if alienation was going to occur it would be against a father and his immediate family. Yet the BBC chose to interview women and also use them for the voice overs on the short piece on Parental Alienation. I am not saying women don’t suffer from it far from it, but during a break up 90% the time the child will stay with the mother.
So, why did the BBC not use any men within the video it’s because we are seen as either less important in a child’s life or aggressive militants. See as a father your not allowed to be seen to be a proactive loving person who wants their children in there lives. We are always seen as the violent perpetrator who should not be around their children and not caring enough to be the main caregiver. This false narrative needs to stop and we are going to put a stop to this media bias against fathers. #TotalReform
Roxanne Pallett and Ryan Thomas | Celebrity Big Brother 2018
I am shocked by what I have seen in the media with regards to the false allegations that came from Roxanne Pallett about Ryan Thomas. Firstly, when I heard about it, I immediately thought to myself how could this possibly happen in the Big Brother house with so many cameras. This was obviously before I saw the camera footage of the incident. Some men when they are in a good place and are happy like to play fight it’s almost like a man saying “I am comfortable around you”.
Now, from what I saw in that video that was not even play fighting it was nothing it had no substance to it to even be categorised as anything but harmless flirting. You can see this incident below which had caused such an uproar on social media and other media platforms.
Roxanne Pallett and Ryan Thomas | Celebrity Big Brother 2018
I can honestly say I never blog about things like this but it really upset me, why because men/fathers get false allegations made against them on a regular basis. This can have a detrimental effect on that person career, life in general and mental health. This is unacceptable behaviour and how anyone in their right mind supports false allegations should be reprimanded. I actually feel sorry for Ryan Thomas and all those men who have had false allegations proven and the men that are still fighting for them to be proven.
These sorts of false allegations have been accepted by the media and courts as gospel for so long and in a weird way, I am happy this happened. As it shows that false allegations do exist and that it is becoming a major problem in today’s society against men. I do believe this is not as black and white as it seems as there may be an underlying mental health issue with Roxanne Pallett which has led to this false allegation. As she seems very fragile person and that there may be something bubbling under the surface which needs to be addressed.
Nevertheless, this will have a large psychological effect on Ryan for the rest of his life as something so trivial has been blown out of proportion. Let’s flip the script for a second, what if this happened off camera with no witnesses then what! I tell you what, he would have been found guilty immediately by the press and the media. His career would have been over and on top of that, he would have been arrested for the allegation. The weeks and months of uncertainty again would have had a detrimental effect on him and everyone around him.
This is why it is important that all allegations are investigated properly and thoroughly before it is leaked or released to the media. Below is the public apology Roxanne Pallett made and to right she did as this will still effect Ryan in a way she could never imagine!
Roxanne Pallett apologises to Ryan Thomas
I hope this is a lessoned learned by everyone when it comes to false allegations and what it can do to a person’s life. Let’s hope valuable lessons have been learnt and that false allegations get challenged at every opportunity!
So, we finally have a UK report on “Parental Alienation in the UK” which was organised and prepared by NAAP – National Association of Alienated Parents. This has been a long time coming and long overdue in my eyes so I just wanted to say a big thank you to NAAP for doing this.
I cannot stress enough on how MP’s and Government organisations have buried their heads in the sand and continue to do so. I am ashamed that they will not even reach out to the campaigners and organisations to discuss their concerns and campaigns. So many questions and not enough answers when it comes to reform, remember this MP’s rely on our votes but yet they don’t want to acknowledge or engage. These things will not go unnoticed when campaigning starts for the new elections you cannot ignore the people that vote you in!
Anyway, please find the report below and spread it far and wide to educate and push for reform. This report may have been conducted in the UK but can apply to any country you live it as Parental Alienation has no boundaries.
The reason why no celebrity or government official on our father’s rights / equal rights movement is because it is not in their interest. Why do you ask? Due to the amount of money that is made from it and how many celebs and government officials have jumped on women’s rights movements they ignore the facts about men. I do believe some of them actually think we are doing this just to distract them from the women’s rights movements.
Let’s make this clear women’s rights are just as important as men’s and I believe everyone should be living an equal life. There should be no gender bias anywhere but that is just my own personal opinion unfortunately that does not make financial sense in the eyes of the government and law.
So, let’s look at some statistics and this is for the year of 2016 England & Wales by the office of national statistics –
• There were 106,959 divorces of opposite-sex couples in 2016, an increase of 5.8% compared with 2015.
• The divorce rate for opposite-sex couples was highest among men aged 45 to 49 and women in their thirties (ages 30 to 39).
Now some of you may be thinking that this is not allot in comparison to our population, just remember this is only what is officially gone through the courts. It does not account for people that are married but just separated and normal breakups are not accounted for. For me, that figure is too high and I am sure it will get higher over years to come. Why do I think it will increase, we don’t promote positive relationships and marriages. If you look at the media it’s always showing some celeb getting divorced or having a breakup with large amounts of financial settlements being discussed.
Your thinking what is this actually promoting? It is saying if you choose your man wisely it could be very profitable for you and everyone concerned, solicitors, barristers, family court, child maintenance services and every estate agents get a piece. The other key thing it promotes is parental alienation, if you as the women alienate the father you will receive more money. Do you remember the days when people used to say the more babies you have the more money you get in benefits? The same principle applies to parental alienation the law supports you alienating the father from their children which in turn allows you to claim more money!
If you did 50/50 co-parenting you would get little or nothing as a mother in terms of financial support so it would not be in the mother’s interest to do that. Yes, it is about money for a lot of women, not all but allot so that is why you will see a rise in CMS claims against fathers. It is being used as a weapon and has been for decades but CMS know if they make a fair system for all it probably will not have a business as it business model is built on fathers not having access! That is why they will always state it’s a separate issue and say if you want to see your kids you have to go to COURT! How about before you as the CMS actually contact the fathers and speak to them with respect and ask them for their side, if they do not have access to their child due to parental alienation, application denied! How about that? No, because it is not how their business model works and it would not be able to sustain itself as a business if that happened.
What about the women that serial marry rich men and divorce them for money? Nothing, technically this would be fraud but it would be difficult to prove and most men don’t even think about it. They are far too distracted with the divorce/breakup and whether or not they will ever see their kids again.
We need to change the laws and the perception of marriage/relationships for anything to really improve. Until then it will always be a money-making industry which seems to only affect the men mainly with our gender bias family court system. We ourselves as businesses need to start abiding by our own Human Rights and Equality Act laws and stop abusing and manipulating the system.
@FathersCountToo I know there is something fundamentally wrong here. The same thing is happening all over the world with female paedophiles and males one get treated differently! They are both committing the same offences so why are they not treated equally!